We all develop crushes on people, even when we are involved in committed relationships. This is totally natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Being in a relationship doesn't make us any less human or sexual beings; monogamy is a choice, sexual attraction isn't.

The thing we all must remember, however, is that if we're not careful, these innocent crushes can turn into red flags that our partners would be right to heed. So, how do you know if a your crush is too much?

Comparisons
"Hmm, my girlfriend couldn't pull off that dress." "Wow, it would take my boyfriend years to get Mark's body." Are you comparing him or her to your current partner in ways that always leave your partner coming in second? You may be inadvertently talking your way out of a pretty good thing. Try to remember all the things your partner has that are wonderful, regardless of whether somebody else has it or not.

You're more interested in your crush's interests
It's one thing to admire someone from afar. It is another find yourself googling "water mammals" because his favorite football team is The Dolphins. The point is that if you're spending time looking into other peoples' interest instead of your partners or your own, the crush is in dangerous territory. Beware.

You Have Crushes on people like your Crush
This is weird, so weird that it should be a red flag for over-the-top crushes. Are you so into somebody that you find yourself checking out others that remind you of him or her? Is the red head in the grocery store now hot because your crush has red hair? This is dangerous because you are so into your crush that when they aren't around, you use substitutes until they are. This situation isn't ideal (unless you actually plan on ending your relationship and pursuing this person. Just don't start obsessing over the red head from the grocery store).

You seek him/her out too much
Do you plan your cigarette breaks to coincide with your crush? Do you find yourself at the water cooler at the same time your crush is there? Do you happen to always be headed to your car at the same time your crush is leaving? This is when crushing morphs into stalking, and when crushing morphs into stalking your current relationship may be in trouble.

Others notice
Nothing's more embarrassing and undesirable than having other people notice your taboo crush. First, when your friends and co-workers notice, it puts you in a negative light and is proof that you are a bit too into this person. Second, when your crush notices, things just get plain awkward. Sure, this could bring the crush to a halt (which would probably be a good thing), but now you are busy avoiding someone you couldn't wait to be around. Third, if your current partner notices, that can open up a can of worms that was nowhere near worth it. If your crush gets to the point where your boyfriend or girlfriend notices, it may be time to do some soul searching.

The point, here, is that there is a line, and these five points can help that line become more visible so that you are less likely to cross it. Now, if your crush gives you some insight into your romantic hopes and dreams, motivating you to move on from your current relationship in general, more power to you. If you plan on staying with your current partner, however, make sure a crush is never too much.

Have you ever taken a crush too far?

Add a Comment

You must be signed in to add a comment. Click here to sign in.

Would you date someone who had previously dated one of your friends?

Yes! I'm perfectly happy to date my friend's exes. They're exes for a reason.

No! It's too incestuous. I don't feel comfortable dating a friend's ex.

Maybe Yes: I haven't had the opportunity, but I don't see a problem with it.

Maybe No: I haven't done it, but I don't think I would.