It is hard enough to be in a lasting marriage without having paparazzi follow you with every step you take. It is difficult to keep matrimony holy if all your dirty laundry is aired in the tabloids. What I'm trying to say is that we cannot be surprised when celebrity marriages do not work. To use a sports metaphor, they start with three strikes against them (and Perez Hilton is a sport all by himself). So why do we pay so much attention to the break-ups, when it's the lasting marriages that are more surprising and more impressive.


I think the key in their relationships, the reason why they survive all the hoopla and traps of the media, is that each person in a successful celebrity relationship is independent and allowed to be the star that he or she is.


Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson provide a pretty good hint about the whole thing. According to Inquirer.net, Wilson has said, "Very early on, before we were married … we were in New York … holding hands. We were getting ready to cross the street. He said, 'I just want you to know that you don't have to change anything about who you are, or what you do, to be with me.” Women like hearing that from a guy." Hmm


Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell AREN'T EVEN MARRIED and they've been together for 25 years! Why? Well, according to AnythingHollywood.com, Goldie says "We both have independent finances, we're both independently well-off. We have raised our children brilliantly; they are beautiful people. We did a great job there and we didn't have to get married to do that. I like waking up every day and seeing that he is there and knowing that I have a choice. There is really no reason to marry." Hmm.


Let's look at Jada Pinket and Will Smith. This couple has been together for a while and seems to have a well-oiled machine of a family. What is even more impressive, and more relevant to my purpose, is that they have spoken honestly about their marriage. In fact, although they are married, acting like they aren't seems to be an effective key to a long marriage. TheInsider.com reports that Smith said "Our perspective is, you don't avoid what's natural and you're going to be attracted to people. . . . And if it came down to it, then one would say to the other: "Look, I need to have sex with somebody. Now, I'm not going to if you don't approve of it.” Hmm


So, extreme independence in all areas, including the sexual areas, seems to be the golden key to marital bliss. When considering all the common words and metaphors we have for marriage (work, bond, ball and chain), one can conclude that matrimony is something like prison. However, a good marriage provides the complete opposite feelings: independence, liberation and autonomy. It seems like the best way for a couple to maintain a marriage is to act like they are not married.
Hmm

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