In the worst recession since the 1930s, anyone can name a hand full of things that have been affected. Job security, financial security and psychological security (peace of mind) have all devolved into their respective insecurities. What's more, since we don't live in a vacuum, those who are still relatively secure in their jobs, finances and mentality are feeling the brunt, as well. However, though these major categories of life are important, they are not the only things we should worry about. Romance, too, has been affected.
 
How has it been affected? The answer to that question is easy to discern if you explore how it is connected to each of the aforementioned categories of life (job, finances, mentality) and how each of these categories are intertwined, themselves.
 
Let's start with the job. I know a person who was so fulfilled by her job that she unconsciously formulated most other aspects of her life around it. That is, she had a boyfriend whose vocational hours matched hers; there was no sitting around waiting for the other to finish work. Also, her job paid very well. She and her boyfriend went on many short vacations and could afford very romantic nights when they stayed in town. Her social life was also wrapped up in her work; most of her friends were her colleagues.
 
All the situations growing from her job were quite fulfilling and ideal. But, if we take away the job what do we have?
 
This person was laid off relatively unexpectedly. A very large source of fulfillment was gone rather abruptly, and, after some mourning and resolving to find work, she tried to seek fulfillment in other things and other people. This, combined with the fact that she saw her friends much less, caused much pressure to be placed on her boyfriend, who now had to become a substitute for her work and her play. The fact that she was now home all day made her impatient; she couldn't wait for her boyfriend to get home so that she could find some kind of solace in him. The waiting made her irritable and even more depressed. What's more, their modes of romancing each other and letting off some steam were now a bit too expensive. The couple didn't really know what to do with each other because socializing was the invisible third party in their threesome. What once was a strong relationship was now a relationship on the rocks--all because a job was lost. What you have here is a bona fide love-to-anxiety story.
 
So what does a couple in this situation do?
 
First, they must stay calm and hopeful. Not only is there a job out there waiting for her, but knowing that will relax things enough to keep trouble out of paradise.
 
Second, they cannot let frustration sneak its way in. Each person has to be supportive of the other: she has to be supportive of his job, regardless of the fact that his schedule doesn't match her desires for quality time. Also, he has to be supportive and optimistic for her and can never complain or blame her for losing her job (even if she could have avoided it).
 
Third, there are other romantic things to do that do not involve money and trips. Whether it is taking a walk, seeing a movie, playing games or visiting friends more often, this couple needs to find out what works and do it. They may be surprised about what they'd missed out on until then.
 
This brings me to my last point. Regardless of the difficulty of this recession, we can consider it an opportunity to re-invent ourselves. We can find ways to save money more efficiently. We can see the beauty in taking a long walk (something we would have never done when gas wasn't so expensive). We can get to know our significant others in ways that were formerly eclipsed by material props such as resorts and dinners at posh, five-star restaurants.
 
The key is to keep hope alive so that you can keep love alive.
 

To report corrections and clarifications, contact esmith@getonthecouch.com. For publication consideration send comments to media@getonthecouch.com. Include name, phone number, city and state for verification.