Ever since Barack Obama was announced the winner of the 2008 Presidential Race, I've been hearing a term that is supposed to denote the end of American race relations as we know it and demarcate an era of true color blindness in our society. The term, "post-racial" is an adjective that has become almost ubiquitous when describing our current country. I get it. Many more prominent figures in society are Black, the President is Black, Oprah is Black, a lot of people are Black. What's more, other races are being welcomed into mainstream society as worthy contributors. Yes, it's all good. You know what still isn't good, though? My love life in mainstream American. The Post-Racial movement has skipped the dating scene.
I know what you're about to say. You see interracial relationships on television and movie screens much more these days. High schools are filled with budding interracial puppy love. Well, I'm not talking about those things. For one thing, TV and movies aren't reality. They show what they think audiences will find interesting (or agitating) and run with it. Ali Larder and Beyonce Knowles fighting over a Black man i(in the film Obsessed) is intriguing, but that doesn't mean it's all that common. In fact, two communications professors wrote an article saying that we place images of racial harmony on television to trick ourselves into believing that there isn't a real problem in our actual lives.[1] Regarding high school, I have seen more teenagers dating interracially, but does this trend last into adulthood? Most of the time, it doesn't. In fact, both parties in a teenage interracial relationship may very well be rebelling against their parents or society or whatever the target of teen angst is these days.
I don't have any statistics on me, but I'm pretty sure interracial dating wanes as people get older, as they feel the pressure to transition into mainstream society and be "upstanding citizens." So where does that leave guys like me, a Black man raised and currently residing in a predominately white neighborhood? Many things in my life, from my occupation to my social interests, involve a predominately white cohort. So, I see, on a daily basis, the idea of "post-raciality" play itself out as a farce. White women, and definitely not the few Asian women, like me as a person but would never entertain the thought of asking me out, although they complain about not being able to find a good looking, successful, financially secure gentleman (all these adjectives pertain to me, by the way). I see them date guys way beneath them because they'd rather have a White guy below their league than a Black guy who has all the adjectives they look for. So where's the post-racial love?
A friend asked me why I don't just date Black women. I do date Black women, when I have something in common with them. As implied earlier, my lifestyle doesn't seem to place me in context with other African American women who are a good match for me. So it seems I'm stuck.
Maybe if Oprah married a white man, I and others like me will be able to ride the post-racial wave into a fulfilling love life. For now, I'm wiping out.
[1] Lewis, Justin and Sut Jhally. "Television and the Politics of Racial Representation." Rethinking the Color Line: Readings in Race and Ethnicity. Ed. Charles A. Gallagher. New York: McGraw Hill Press, 2004.
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