Men and women are different, but they're not as different as people seem to think-especially when it comes to committed relationships.
 
In my years of serial monogamy, I have noticed a few things: You can make a dirty guy clean but you can't make a clean guy less clean; all men are addicted to porn; your boyfriend's mother is the enemy, period!
 
One of the most interesting lessons, however, has come from my observations of how people present themselves, as a couple, to their friends. This is interesting because I think there is one major distinction that is drawn along gender lines. Guys and girls have different ideas of what is impressive when it comes to their relationship. It's as simple as this: women talk up the relationship while men talk up the girl.
 
When you ask a woman how her relationship with a guy is going, she goes into a dissertation about how well they get along, how much they have in common and how happy they make themselves feel. I, for instance, am dating a guy right now who never forgets a thing I tell him. I mention how much I love tulips; I get a dozen of them the next day. I talk about how much I love the beach; he rents a beach house the following weekend.  This may sound like I'm talking about him, but I'm really talking about the things he does to make us have a good time together.  We love the same music together. We have many of the same hobbies together.  He really feels like a partner to me, a teammate. These are the things I say when I brag about my relationship.
 
Guys, on the other hand, are more about the lady. My past boyfriends and current boyfriend are all proof us this. When guys brag about the relationship, it is all about a) how hot she is, b) how good she is in bed c) how well she understands a sport or two, d) how well she can cook, etc. Only in ballads and romantic comedies do guys talk about how much a woman has saved or enhance their lives in some way. In real life, guys are, for the most part, pretty happy with bachelorhood and one-night stands. A girl worth bragging about is the one that can be around without totally ruining the good life a guy already has.
 
So, what should we make of this distinction? Should we ask ourselves why guys and girls value different things in a relationship? Should we try to change one of the sexes so that both sexes are valuing the same thing? No. I think we should just realize that the two things that guys and girls value in relationships are, actually, the same thing expressed in two different ways. The fact that we love the same music is the same as him not having to alter his playlist for me. The fact that I love the beach meshes well with the fact that he likes spending time with me in ways that don't force him out of his comfort zone (which, fortunately, includes a beach).
 
It would seem that guys and girls value the same things . . . in their own guy and girl ways.

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