All throughout my life, I've heard many "don'ts." You know, "Don't talk with your mouth full," or "Don't cross the street without looking both ways," or "Don't mix pills with alcohol," or whatever. I learned to treat these "don'ts" like white noise; they were there, they may have even been committed to memory, but their consideration was minimal. I'm sure you feel the same way about the "don'ts" in your life, but I am here to tell you that there is one don't that is underestimated and overlooked. Because of this, it is often disregarded and, therefore, the cause of much unnecessary pain and suffering. What is it? It is a warning you should always heed: Don't date your buddy's ex-girlfriend.
 
Some of you are emphatically nodding because you completely agree and do not need to be told this. On the other hand, there are others of you who don't see the harm in it and/or are thinking about dating a buddy's ex-girlfriend in the very near future. It is YOU to whom I speak!
 
And I hear you. I hear what you're saying. "What's the harm?" you ask. "He had his chance," you say. "If it was meant to be, he'd still be with her," you rationalize. "Why should I ignore the obvious connection I have with this woman because he couldn't work it out?" you justify. Well, I will respond to all these questions/statements in three parts.
 
First of all, it is hurtful to your friend. As a friend, it is your duty to never do anything to truly hurt or depress him. You are a buddy and, therefore, a teammate. When playing football, you don't tackle your own teammate. While playing basketball, you don't steal the ball from your own guy. If he loses his girlfriend, someone he probably still has strong feelings for, you do NOT make him watch as you cultivate a romantic and sexual relationship with her. He is broken up with her; he needs to forget about her and use your shoulder to cry on. By dating her, it will be impossible for him to forget about her and very difficult to cry on your shoulder (especially if she's leaning her beautiful head on the other shoulder and whispering sweet and possibly naughty nothings into his ear).
 
Secondly, your other friends will think you're a douche bag. You are suddenly the guy who backs out on his wingman duties to snag the ex-girlfriend. You are no longer trusted, since you have made yourself the Benedict Arnold of Wingmanship. As your buddies get girls they really care about, they will hang out with you less and less. Even if you're above hitting on a girl who is presently dating a buddy, they cannot take that chance.
 
Lastly, you shouldn't do it because it is going to SUCK when it happens to you. Now that you've set the precedent, nobody's gonna feel bad about going after your exes. And trust me, even if you broke up with her, it's still uncomfortable; the fact that he could be rocking her world better than you did, or that he could be provided all those things you couldn't, is a horrible feeling to deal with. Once you get a taste of it, you'll know how bad it feels to have a buddy go out with your ex-girlfriend. I have been both parties: the ex-boyfriend and the heartless best friend. I'm here to tell you, if you're thinking of dating your buddy's ex-girlfriend, DON'T DO IT.
 
Well, if you're buddy finds a new girlfriend and she's hotter than his ex, then, and only then, can you date her. BUT THAT'S IT!
 

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