Divorce--How Sweet.
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Asked
Jan 18 2010
Female
I was once told that a girl should never divulge or show her absolute vulnerability to a guy in relation to how she feels for/about him. I always wondered if that was good advice??
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Answered
Jan 19 2010
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PBThornley
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Rating: 3.5/5 | 25 votes
Well, a few things can be going on with that idea I think.
One is that there is an element of mistrust already in the girl for the man she is with, and so she feels that she cannot really be 'herself' and let him see her as she is.
Another is that one or both of the people involved are avoiding intimacy. Intimacy is about being vulnerable, and letting someone see 'into' you. Without that, and being open to one another, all you really have is a superficial relationship.
I would say however, that if either person is feeling that they cannot be open and trusting to the other, there is more going on that might need to be addressed. In any ideal situation, you will want to be best friends with your romantic partner; that means being able to act as you truly are, tell them anything, and expect that even if they don't understand, you will be treated with respect, compassion, kindness and love.
If you have a fear that your partner will not appreciate certain aspects of who you are, or can be, then you are not only being dishonest with them by hiding your vulnerability, but you are being dishonest with yourself. You deserve to have a relationship with someone who loves and respects you for who YOU are, as much as you deserve to be able to offer that to someone else as well.
So, I'm going to go with No, I do not feel that hiding your vulnerability out of fear of dislike or rejection is a good idea if you want to have a healthy, intimate relationship with a member of the opposite sex.
One is that there is an element of mistrust already in the girl for the man she is with, and so she feels that she cannot really be 'herself' and let him see her as she is.
Another is that one or both of the people involved are avoiding intimacy. Intimacy is about being vulnerable, and letting someone see 'into' you. Without that, and being open to one another, all you really have is a superficial relationship.
I would say however, that if either person is feeling that they cannot be open and trusting to the other, there is more going on that might need to be addressed. In any ideal situation, you will want to be best friends with your romantic partner; that means being able to act as you truly are, tell them anything, and expect that even if they don't understand, you will be treated with respect, compassion, kindness and love.
If you have a fear that your partner will not appreciate certain aspects of who you are, or can be, then you are not only being dishonest with them by hiding your vulnerability, but you are being dishonest with yourself. You deserve to have a relationship with someone who loves and respects you for who YOU are, as much as you deserve to be able to offer that to someone else as well.
So, I'm going to go with No, I do not feel that hiding your vulnerability out of fear of dislike or rejection is a good idea if you want to have a healthy, intimate relationship with a member of the opposite sex.
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