Asked

Jun 22 2009

Female

I really love my boyfriend. We've been together for 4 years and we met in college. We've both been totally faithful to each other, but lately we aren't doing it as much as we used to. I think he may be bored with me. The truth is I'm a little bored with him too. I feel like if we got married we'd be on a new adventure, but everything I know about why to get married makes that seem like a bad reason. But breaking up would be incredibly difficult because we've known each other for so long. Is there another alternative? Any advice or ideas?

THX

anonymous post in Committed

Answered

Jul 5 2009

Every couple goes through a slump like this. I'm not sure getting married is the right way to solve the problem of boredom, but if you feel like its time to get married, go for it! Just remember, if you are starting to doubt things now, you might still be doubting them a few months after the wedding. Try to incorporate some excitement into your lives by doing things together. Go traveling, take some classes together, start a project together - whatever it may be, make some time for the two of you to rediscover each other as the people you first fell in love with.

The rest will all fall into place.

[reply to answer]

Answered

Jul 1 2009

It sounds like a normal relationship. A relationships that lasts a couple years gets boring because everything is pretty much said and done, so you grow more and more into roommates. To help turn it around, both of you have got to start trying new activities.

I wouldn't recommend getting married since you're concerned about it being a poor choice, but to help with your sex life try different positions, bring toys into the mix, or just show up at his place wearing a sexy new something you picked up as a surprise. Your sex life has sizzled because you can predict how it's going to go. "We kiss, we take off our clothes, do the normal positions and go through the motions, and we're done. Let's watch a movie." You need some unpredictability in your love life to spice things up.

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What do women prefer in bed? Do they like variety or affection? Or both?