Asked

Jul 1 2009

Female

So I just went to a party with this guy who I've known for about six months. In the past I've had sex with him along with last night. I was just wondering (I know its wrong) but since he has a girlfriend is he lying when he said that he'll break up with her? He also said that she cheated on him so could he be indirectly trying to get revenge on her? He said he loved me and he's never said that before. Although, I'd like to think that he isn't lying because he said that he's always liked me even when we just hung out as friends which we did somewhat often. So if anyone has any advice on this I'd appreciate it.

anonymous post in Dating Scene

Answered

Jul 5 2009

Your best bet (and I promise you - the only way you will be able to move on) is to stop sleeping with him and cut off contact. A real friend wouldn't sleep with you if he's unhappy in his relationship. A real friend wouldn't jeoprodize your friendship by using you for revenge, and a real friend certainly wouldn't say I love you unless he meant it. I know its cliche, but "you can't have your cake and eat it too." Basically, he thinks if he comes around and tells you he loves you, treats you with kindness and makes you feel special, and tells you he's going to break up with his girlfriend, then he's got the best of both worlds. This will continue for as long as you allow it to, so if you want to be the girl on the side until he gets caught or gets bored of it, don't do anything. If you want to be in a real relationship with someone who doesn't need to be with anyone else, cut him off.

[reply to answer]

Answered

Jul 2 2009

I wouldn't get my hopes up high. Why hasn't he broken up with his girlfriend? He wants to have his cake and eat it, too. I can't blame the guy for dreaming big, but it's not fair to you.

[reply to answer]

Answered

Jul 2 2009

My guess is you're about to get your head bumped. If he really wanted to be with you, he would have been free AND willing to do that BEFORE you had sex again. Don't make the common mistake of confusing sex with love. In this situation, his only real motivation for saying he loved you was to make you feel better about letting him into your pants once again.



Save yourself considerable heartache. Don't expect anything significant to come of it - a lousy start usually never leads to a wonderful finish. I truly, truly hope you used reliable protection or this one could very well come back to bite you in ways you haven't considered.



Better judgment next time. You're far too young and precious to be so cavalier with your life - emotional AND physical.

[reply to answer]

I found out this guy I'm into has been in asking a few questions about me to one of the bartenders at our local hangout. Such as have I ever been married? Have I been in that night or earlier that week? etc.

We finally spoke yesterday during a drink, and he's telling me he likes me too. We talk about how we both had some unkind love affairs in the past and how we just want to get ... read more