Divorce--How Sweet.
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Asked
Jul 19 2009
Female
My boyfriend was in the hospital for about two weeks with nothing seriously life-threatening, but a rare issue that can happen to people who are completely healthy. He's out of bed now and back home which is great, but while he was mowing down oatmeal every morning with old nurses, I was taking shots at the bar. This two weeks was like being single again, and while I love being in a relationship with an amazing person, not being in one isn't so bad either. I feel incredibly guilty, and am wondering if we should take a break so he can not only recover, but so I can truly see what it's like without him for a while longer. What should I do? Im concerned because I don't want to send him back the hospital with a broken heart!
by madison
in On a Break
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You miss being single. Let him go and get it out of your system.
You will always miss the bar scene. Suck it up and stay in your relationship
Maybe you should both party together more (when he gets better, of course)
You have one foot out the door. Step through it. If the weather's nice, stay outside. If not, go back in.
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Answered
Feb 25 2010
by
mgr35704
in On a Break
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Rating: 3.8/5 | 20 votes
If you crave the single life it is because your nostalgic for what never was. Though I must think that if the stool at the bar was more desireable than by the side of your lover while he is at his worst then letting him go may be a favor to him.
His heart will heal and someone who cares enough to be thinking of him and not themselves when he is in dire need will certainly come along.
His heart will heal and someone who cares enough to be thinking of him and not themselves when he is in dire need will certainly come along.
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Answered
Jul 20 2009
by
hallucinogenetic
in On a Break
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Rating: 3.4/5 | 62 votes
Of course being single "isn't so bad either." Being single is fun! And independent! And revolves around your every whim, and only yours!
You shouldn't worry about how fun it is to be doing your own thing. What you might want to worry about is the conclusion you're jumping to.
Let's be honest for a second and say that "take a break" means "over" 99% of the time, and let's play the odds and not worry about that 1%, because you're probably not in it. So what you're considering is breaking up with your "amazing person" boyfriend, because you remembered suddenly how great being single is.
And let's be honest and say that that doesn't make you anything other than a totally normal person. No judgment. Breaking up is often the right call in relationships, that's why we tend to have so many of them.
But how to know if you should? Try to discern your real desire here. You're probably either:
A) in the right relationship, but have let yourself get so wrapped up in togetherness that you've sapped away your own independence without noticing it. When was the last time you took a mini vacation without him?
or
B) are in the wrong relationship, but things are so generally lovely that you can't think of a reason to leave.
If A, then simply make some changes. Stay together, and branch out with you time, girl time, etc. Flying solo is awesome, so let yourself do it, without firing your copilot.
If B, then be honest for another minute: looking for a reason to leave *is* a reason to leave. There doesn't have to be drama for there to be a breakup -- just the realization that it's not the right situation for you.
And while you're pondering, you should also look at your desires and maturity. Are you craving independence, or simply diverse male attention? Are you looking for love, or security? Knowing yourself with no holds barred, admitting everything, is the only way to hammer out what it is you really want. And once you know that, you won't need our advice!
You shouldn't worry about how fun it is to be doing your own thing. What you might want to worry about is the conclusion you're jumping to.
Let's be honest for a second and say that "take a break" means "over" 99% of the time, and let's play the odds and not worry about that 1%, because you're probably not in it. So what you're considering is breaking up with your "amazing person" boyfriend, because you remembered suddenly how great being single is.
And let's be honest and say that that doesn't make you anything other than a totally normal person. No judgment. Breaking up is often the right call in relationships, that's why we tend to have so many of them.
But how to know if you should? Try to discern your real desire here. You're probably either:
A) in the right relationship, but have let yourself get so wrapped up in togetherness that you've sapped away your own independence without noticing it. When was the last time you took a mini vacation without him?
or
B) are in the wrong relationship, but things are so generally lovely that you can't think of a reason to leave.
If A, then simply make some changes. Stay together, and branch out with you time, girl time, etc. Flying solo is awesome, so let yourself do it, without firing your copilot.
If B, then be honest for another minute: looking for a reason to leave *is* a reason to leave. There doesn't have to be drama for there to be a breakup -- just the realization that it's not the right situation for you.
And while you're pondering, you should also look at your desires and maturity. Are you craving independence, or simply diverse male attention? Are you looking for love, or security? Knowing yourself with no holds barred, admitting everything, is the only way to hammer out what it is you really want. And once you know that, you won't need our advice!
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Answered
Jul 20 2009
by
jr
in On a Break
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Rating: 3.2/5 | 61 votes
Wow! I think that you should absolutely break up with him, but not for the reason that you may think.
Insurance companies and doctors don't keep people in the hospital for two weeks unless it's something serious. If he was in a hospital bed and you were in a bar getting your morning buzz on, I think that he is absolutely better off without you!
I'm not saying that you have to be there with him 24/7 or that you shouldn't be out with friends while he's laid up--but if this is the person you love then what the heck are you doing out and about drinking your breakfast in a bar thinking about how great it is that you're "single" again?
If my girlfriend were in the hospital I would be there for her--helping with things around her house, taking care of what she needed and spending time with her every day, letting her know that I'm concerned about her and that I'm there for her and I know she would do the same for me. That's what people who love each other do.
He may have a broken heart when you tell him you want to break up, but if you're honest enough to tell him why, he will get over it quickly. He will definitely be better off without you in his life. That may sound harsh, but it's totally true.
Insurance companies and doctors don't keep people in the hospital for two weeks unless it's something serious. If he was in a hospital bed and you were in a bar getting your morning buzz on, I think that he is absolutely better off without you!
I'm not saying that you have to be there with him 24/7 or that you shouldn't be out with friends while he's laid up--but if this is the person you love then what the heck are you doing out and about drinking your breakfast in a bar thinking about how great it is that you're "single" again?
If my girlfriend were in the hospital I would be there for her--helping with things around her house, taking care of what she needed and spending time with her every day, letting her know that I'm concerned about her and that I'm there for her and I know she would do the same for me. That's what people who love each other do.
He may have a broken heart when you tell him you want to break up, but if you're honest enough to tell him why, he will get over it quickly. He will definitely be better off without you in his life. That may sound harsh, but it's totally true.
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