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Asked
Aug 8 2009
Female
I lost my job early this year and needed to get a tenant in to help offset the cost of the mortgage. My boyfriend of one year had been recently pallling around with a guy who is related to a noted wealthy celebrity. The guy was looking for a place and my boyfriend recommended that I rent the place to him. The pal did not have a job but my boyfriend assured me that he'd always be able to pay. I was in a bind and needed to get income in for a short period..but fast.
That was seven months ago and my boyfriends pal has only paid for two of the months he's been living in my home. My house will very likely enter into foreclosure this month, because his pal wont leave voluntarily and wont pay. I've initiated eviction proceedings, which in our state..is pro-tenant, particularly if you know how to work the system which this guy does.
My boyfriend believes that the economy is the reason for this guy's inability to pay and defends him as a good guy who fell on tough times. I believe that the guy is a con man. He also says that had I continued to be nice to him he may have paid a little more but that when i started the eviction process after 3 months i made his pal less likely to pay.
My boyfriend believes that it is my fault the guy did not pay because I)I should have paid for him to move his things out of my house, 2)should not have called him dishonest, and 3) should have agreed after I initiated the eviction proceedings, to cut a deal with him to pay 20% of the money he owes me, with the balance to follow at some unspecified date in exchange for more time in the house.
My boyfriend is still friends with this man though not as close. Our relationship on the other hand has been considerably strained. The boyfriend paid for the moving truck which moved this guy's stuff into my home and took mine out.
Is my boyfriend a keeper? Is it his fault that he tried to help but his pal turned out to be a flake? (Also, the pal never paid utilities as was agreed, but ran them up astronomically on my dime.) The boyfriend feels like we are both ungrateful for his trying to help. I know that if it were not for him, I would not have rented to an unemployed person despite his so called wealthy affiliations, plus I'd have booted him out long ago. Now I am in hugh financial problems and my boyfriend is trying to find a mutual blame. Is it right for me to be disgusted by the boyfriend? I think he has a man crush on the guy and I can never truly trust or respect him again. Am I over-reacting?
That was seven months ago and my boyfriends pal has only paid for two of the months he's been living in my home. My house will very likely enter into foreclosure this month, because his pal wont leave voluntarily and wont pay. I've initiated eviction proceedings, which in our state..is pro-tenant, particularly if you know how to work the system which this guy does.
My boyfriend believes that the economy is the reason for this guy's inability to pay and defends him as a good guy who fell on tough times. I believe that the guy is a con man. He also says that had I continued to be nice to him he may have paid a little more but that when i started the eviction process after 3 months i made his pal less likely to pay.
My boyfriend believes that it is my fault the guy did not pay because I)I should have paid for him to move his things out of my house, 2)should not have called him dishonest, and 3) should have agreed after I initiated the eviction proceedings, to cut a deal with him to pay 20% of the money he owes me, with the balance to follow at some unspecified date in exchange for more time in the house.
My boyfriend is still friends with this man though not as close. Our relationship on the other hand has been considerably strained. The boyfriend paid for the moving truck which moved this guy's stuff into my home and took mine out.
Is my boyfriend a keeper? Is it his fault that he tried to help but his pal turned out to be a flake? (Also, the pal never paid utilities as was agreed, but ran them up astronomically on my dime.) The boyfriend feels like we are both ungrateful for his trying to help. I know that if it were not for him, I would not have rented to an unemployed person despite his so called wealthy affiliations, plus I'd have booted him out long ago. Now I am in hugh financial problems and my boyfriend is trying to find a mutual blame. Is it right for me to be disgusted by the boyfriend? I think he has a man crush on the guy and I can never truly trust or respect him again. Am I over-reacting?
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Short Answers: (Choose One)
It was not your boyfriend's fault that his friend did not pay you the rent owed. Renters are a toss-up
Your boyfriend should have done everything legally in his power to get the guy to pay or out of your home given the specific nature of the rental. Short term, fast cash.
Everyone is to blame. It's your house you are responsible for the poor decisions you made, the renter for his lack of responsibility and your boyfriend for his disloyalty
Your boyfriend is not to blame, but he should have been more empathetic.
Get both of them out of your life.
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Aug 17 2009
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Aug 12 2009
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Wow. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know somebody else with a similar situation, but there is no romantic involvement anywhere.
With the similar situation, the tenant had fallen on hard times and was having a hard time catching up on finances. A financial counselor "bought" him more time and he is still working with his landlord to work something out. The thing with that situation is that the tenant knew he was responsible for making payments and put the effort in to work with the landlord. In your situation, the tenant was irresponsible, ungrateful and rude.
What's different with your relationship is the boyfriend factor. He seems, involuntarily, to have thrown you under the bus, and he is not taking responsibility for that. I am sorry to say that his lack of remorse is a huge red flag. You want somebody who can at least sympathize with your situation. Your boyfriend, who had a huge hand in this, is not only unsympathetic and unapologetic, but he thinks it's your fault for doing responsible things like starting the eviction process and trying to save your house.
I'm sorry. I'm not saying that your boyfriend is necessarily a bad person, but he may be too immature to rely on as a partner.
You
With the similar situation, the tenant had fallen on hard times and was having a hard time catching up on finances. A financial counselor "bought" him more time and he is still working with his landlord to work something out. The thing with that situation is that the tenant knew he was responsible for making payments and put the effort in to work with the landlord. In your situation, the tenant was irresponsible, ungrateful and rude.
What's different with your relationship is the boyfriend factor. He seems, involuntarily, to have thrown you under the bus, and he is not taking responsibility for that. I am sorry to say that his lack of remorse is a huge red flag. You want somebody who can at least sympathize with your situation. Your boyfriend, who had a huge hand in this, is not only unsympathetic and unapologetic, but he thinks it's your fault for doing responsible things like starting the eviction process and trying to save your house.
I'm sorry. I'm not saying that your boyfriend is necessarily a bad person, but he may be too immature to rely on as a partner.
You
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